The City Writes Itself

Dandelions’ silver afros,

   Wet green tree tarp.

Flash—

   Spring again-- Where was I?

Sudden shrubs, blossoms,

                             A puddle the size of _____ (insert

        anything grand/ anything taking over). 

Skeleton umbrellas part the detritus on Rue Manin/ Blurred

photographs, red shoes/ against wet asphalt.

Turning up the toaster won’t heat the room.

2.

I punch a 15th century stone wall,

   expect styrofoam, corrigated paper, wire.

Five weeks, fist in a cast, a drug to slow my heart:

The size of/ a fist/ a fledgling bird/ goose-necked

anything cupped/ in a careful hand/ Yes,

the heart is a loose fruit

a casual roll of the dice

It’s a handful of sand in a strong wind. 

 It’ll take you over if you let it,

   the rain.

3.

This November

I’ve returned to the city I once loved

In the same season I first loved it.

I search for phantoms, create

language for what isn’t there:

You in your green jacket, the rose light of the café,

the storm that drew us out into the street, snapping photographs.

a fierce autumn/ brown-green sycamore leaves

pasted to the streets/ big as our two hands splayed

thumbs touching/ on the fogged glass/ a small swipe

of nose/ of lip

Inside, they are lighting the candles

Tea-lights      in small cups.

I see you every time I look away.

*This poem was first published in St. Petersburg Review in 2010.